Dance, Monkey! Dance!

Did you ever get the feeling that you were nothing more than a pawn in a chess game? Better yet, has anyone ever felt like one of those performance monkeys in a circus side show?

I can certainly say that I feel that way with my college right now. I feel as if I am a pawn in their little game. The game is supposed to be "The Game of Life" but anymore it is starting to seem more and more like "Sorry" and "Monopoly" everyday from my perspective.

No matter what I do, I feel like one of those performances monkeys that continue to just keep dancing away. I try to stop and escape every once in a while but even when the escape seems possible, I forget that they are still holding onto the leash that I am attached to and I must dance some more.

In college, they teach us that the world is full of contradictions. What they do not teach us is that college itself is full of contradictions. One of those little things that they seem to leave out between the campus life and tuition sections of the brochure.

Even my educators are contradictory which adds to the confusion. In my education classes, we are taught to always remain flexible and be willing to compromise with forces on the outside when it comes to our students. The very next minute, we are confronted with a professor who bases half of the class upon participation or is unwilling to bend on anything.

Maybe I missed the memo while I was out working in my community. Maybe I missed the message while I was working on that ever important resume that places more emphasis on being involved in everything than the quality and accomplishments of just one thing.

Maybe I misplaced that memo in the miles and miles of red tape that composes a university anymore. I must have because it is certainly putting a stranglehold on me with its rules, regulations, and contradictions.

Of course, people will say that I am simply just ready to get out or that I have just had some bad experiences but right now I do not care. I am willing to bet that I am not the only student that has ever been "crapped" on and I highly doubt that I will be the last.

I guess, for now, I will just continue dancing until I get that little piece of paper. The little piece of paper that in reality is only a few sheets away from being toilet paper. That little piece of paper is what keeps me going even though the true measure of someone does not come down to a little piece paper but something much more substantial.

I pray for that day to come fast. For now, I will put my little monkey hat back on and continue to entertain the crowds. Someday, I will escape and I will be sure to not repeat the mistakes that I have seen these past few years from the circus that I have been held hostage in. At least, let's hope.